STEVE'S IN TROUBLE AGAIN

We ALL know how much Steve loves WAL-MART!




STEVE NICOLL BANNED FROM WAL-MART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.... My wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.......

Dear Mrs. Nicoll,
Over the past six months , your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Nicoll are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. Nov 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. Dec 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Dec 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies restroom.
4. Dec 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away.'
5. Jan 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Jan 14: Moved a CAUTION-WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
7. Feb 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. Feb 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Mar 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. Mar 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. April 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. April 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. April18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. April 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. April 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards, Tom Richards Manager, Wal-Mart Superstore